I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
