i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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