My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
