My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
