i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
this is an emotional support booty call
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
