Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
