The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize