adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
