Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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