Sry I called you an 8
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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