So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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