dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i barfeds in our rink
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
