its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
we should paint friendship bongs
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