dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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