Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
