You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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