Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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