If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
