well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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