Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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