I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
