if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize