I hate your face
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
