White coat. Heels.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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