ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
