Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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