all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
