my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Drunk is not a location!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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