I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
