dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
