Having a random hookup so left but love u
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
