now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
