This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
