I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
