Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
