she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize