i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
