Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
