That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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