Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
