May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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