My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
