Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
