I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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