we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
