I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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