There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's rum buckets o'clock
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
