THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
be right there i have to get my cape
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
