At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
