i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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