Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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