is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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