If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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