So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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