the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
