honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
