Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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