You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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