TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
