he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
a search helicopter?!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you never un-have a 4some
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
