Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
