So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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