they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
