"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
