It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
