You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
