There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
