i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
do herpes really smell.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
