Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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