I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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