they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I came so hard my ears popped.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
