he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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