hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I did not marry a roomba.
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