So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
